I’m not going to lie — staying sane during the baseball or even off season was a huge struggle for me for a long time. And to be honest I still struggle with it from time to time.
After writing “Why Don’t You Work” and What It’s Like Being Married to a Professional Baseball Player I had a lot of ladies reach out to me telling me how they can relate. Its honestly so great to hear peoples stories, knowing I’m not alone in this — but at the same time disappointing that so many women struggle with the same things across professional sports. I had messages saying “Your post brought me to tears” and “I am struggling to find happiness living in this lifestyle.” They were coming to me looking for answers as to how to feel like themselves in a world thats all about our significant others.
There used to be days I didn’t get out of bed until noon — I would seriously feel like there was no point in even getting out of bed. I would tell myself that I didn’t have a job so I mean what did I really have to do? Even days I legit would not leave the house one time. I didn’t have close friends at the beginning of moving out so I felt like I didn’t have anyone to hang out with. I wouldn’t go to the gym because I couldn’t even find the motivation and again felt like I didn’t have anyone to go with.
These were the excuses I was using to make myself feel better about doing nothing – that eventually lead to me becoming unhappy and acting nothing like myself.
I know that I don’t have all the answers and still struggle at times, but I feel like in the years I have been in this crazy baseball world I have come to learn what really helps me to feel more like myself and feel like I have more of a life than just being the support system in my husbands’. I am not saying these tips will work for everyone but I will say they have significantly changed my mood since the first year I lived with my husband and really helped get me about of my “funk.”
Plan your week before it begins
I am a HUGE planner – almost to a fault. I think its partly because I can’t remember what I said I needed to do 5 minutes ago so I have to write everything down. Ask my husband – it drives him crazy! But I really think this is the best way to get up every morning and know what you have to do. I put seriously everything on my to-do list. Like even to shower in the morning, because we all know that is a task in itself some days (don’t judge me if you don’t feel the same way). My point is even if you don’t have super important things to do, you can still make a list of things that you know need to get done and will help get you moving throughout your day. It can be things as simple as the going to the store, getting a work out in or even calling someone to catch up. I honestly can tell you I see a difference in myself if I don’t plan my week ahead of time. I don’t wake up until later, I sit around watching TV or on my phone and then what do you know the day is gone. Waking up with a plan will give you the motivation to get out of bed and make you feel like you accomplished something!
Wake up at the same time every day
This kind of goes along with having a plan for each day. But I am telling you if you wake up every day at the same time you will have a more productive day. In a lifestyle where we can’t really control anything, the one thing we can control about our day is when and how we start it. This spring training I have been scheduling workout classes at 9:00 and 10:00 every morning just to make sure I get up and get my day started! I know this sounds so simple but I’m telling you it really works and will help you feel more productive.
I used to be that reserved girl who didn’t really open up or talk to anyone at the field — and the people who know me know I am not that person in the slightest. But in the beginning I was younger than everyone else and always back and forth from LSU so I barely got to know anyone. On top of that my husband was being shuttled from Baltimore to Triple-A and back it felt like every other day so it made it even harder to form relationships — I know a lot of you can relate with that! I had to make it a point to reach out to people I didn’t know well and make friends. I’m not going to lie, its intimidating to come into a group of girls who might already know each other but it’s SO worth it. Some of the best friends I have in baseball I have bonded with over work outs, shopping or just chatting at baseball games. It’s really as easy as that, find someone who enjoys doing the same things as you and do them together.
There is no way you can survive this lifestyle with out each other. No one, I’m serious no one, really completely understands what our lives look like and the challenges we face. So thats why it’s so important to reach out and make friends – you never know, someone else may be feeling the same way as you.
If you’re like me, which I feel like most women are, your ideal career path came to a halt because it didn’t fit in this lifestyle. I’ve already talked about how hard this is in my “Why Don’t You Work” post. But it really feels like someone took something away from you that made you, you. For me teaching, being around kids and being wrapped up in a math problem was my life since I was 14 years old. So fast forward ten years and it’s all gone — it can really shake you. But I have found ways to still do things I love by getting involved in the Orioles, my neighborhood at home and also with people on the team. Kevin and I partnered with the Orioles this last season to start a program that allows students who have trouble reading to go to the BARCS Animal Shelter and practice reading to non-judgemental friends, also known as cats and kittens! This has been rewarding for me and gives me a little “fix” of being in a teaching environment with students. I have also started tutoring math to high school and middle school students and it really gives my mood a boost! Yes, I am a math nerd I know.. Kevin constantly laughs at me.
But really just reaching out to your team, to see if they know of any non-profit organizations you can get involved in can fill your time. Even going to local hospitals or helping someone on the team who has their own foundation or cause that they support can give you a sense of purpose and happiness you didn’t know you needed.
So obviously it’s great to stay in shape, but I don’t even say to work out for that reason. Work out because it seriously makes you happy. I’m about to get technical here, but I feel like I need to to make a point. Working out causes your body to produce endorphins that are shown to reduce stress, which for me translates to being a happier and more enjoyable person. Y’all..it’s seriously true. There will be days I am in a bad mood and Kevin will say “hey, why don’t you go work out?” He’s 100% trying to help me out because he knows it puts me in a better mood — but not always the best thing to tell an already moody person if you know what I mean, lol. Anyways, when you don’t want to get up and work out — just do it. Even though it’s most likely not the most favorited thing to do, it can really help you stay sane!
It’s a long season and can feel like it will never end — but the way you approach it can really allow you to love and appreciate it in a way you didn’t think you could. I am not trying to proclaim I have figured it out – I think even veteran wives could say there will always be some struggle in this lifestyle. But I do think there are ways you can make it easier on yourself and allow yourself to be happy even in this crazy baseball world.
I really hope even one of these tips can help you “stay sane” this season and feel more like yourself! I love hearing feedback from you guys, so let me know what you think of this post in the comments <3
If you’re not in this baseball world, you may not understand this post at all. You may think how awesome it might be to wake up and have nothing to do most days and thats fine. But there are so many people who truly wish they were able to work and do something they love and are passionate about.
I always feel like I need to write a disclaimer at the bottom of baseball related posts to keep people from making this about something entirely different than it is. I am not saying I wish our lives would be any different than they are now, we are absolutely blessed to be in the situation we are in with baseball. I wouldn’t trade this life for anything. I am just hoping to help anyone in baseball who may be going through something I went through in the beginning of this rollercoaster of a lifestyle.